How to Stay Calm; don't let others push your buttons!

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lie our growth and our freedom.” - Viktor Frankl The “space” can be defined as the amount of time that exists between stimulus and response. If we let stimulus dictate our action without pausing for control, we are reacting. There is power in doing nothing, so do it! (For a few seconds at least) Psychologists and philosophers tell us that the best way to respond in some situations is to do nothing. Finally, an idea I can get on board with. I am talking about the difference between acting and reacting. Make use of the space between stimulus and response. We are responsible for our actions. The word “responsible” means the ability to respond. We can choose how we respond to any situation, but we may need to pause and think. We don’t want to react. We can become like the dog in Pavlov’s dog experiment, which is not good. We have given power to the stimulus and to those that control the stimulus. We are allowing others to push our buttons. Don’t give power to others by the manner of stimulus/response. We can’t control much of what happens to us in life, but we can control how we respond to it. Need some help with control? Victor Frankl was a survivor of the Holocaust. He suffered terrible conditions and watched friends systematically murdered. He observed that we often couldn’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. This is a power we should never take lightly or forfeit our use of. A good enough “why” can handle any “what” Victor observed that with a strong enough why we can handle any what. We can endure a lousy job for the ability to provide for our families. Women and men could survive the horrors of the concentration camps (the what) for the chance to be free and reunited with family (the why). Understand your beliefs and values. Let them guide your responses. Remember; when negative emotions are roused, take a moment and don’t react. By pausing, you can choose your response; you can act, rather than react. Take a moment and do nothing. You are taking power away from the stimulus and empowering yourself. A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back – Proverbs 29:11