8 WAYS How Kindness Will RUIN Your Life | Stoicism

Women don’t fall for the guy who always says yes, who’s always available, who never challenges her. That kind of man seems easy. Predictable. Safe… but not exciting. Not strong. Not respected. And deep down, even if she says she wants a nice guy, what she really craves is a man with a backbone. A man who knows who he is—and doesn’t bend just to keep her happy. When you're too nice, you start walking on eggshells. You avoid conflict. You hold back your opinions just to keep the peace. You let her lead the dynamic. You become passive. And over time, she loses interest—not because you’re not good enough, but because you’re too easy to get. That’s not love. That’s convenience. Being kind isn’t the issue. Being spineless is. There’s a difference between being a good man… and being a doormat. Here’s what this looks like in real life: You’re dating a girl. She starts canceling plans last minute. You say, “No worries, I understand.” Then it happens again. And again. And you keep saying the same thing, hoping she sees how patient and understanding you are. But here’s what she’s actually seeing: “This guy has no standards. He’ll tolerate anything. I don’t need to take him seriously.” And just like that—you’re out. Not with a bang, but a slow fade. Ghosted. Left wondering what went wrong. She didn’t leave because you weren’t nice. She left because she didn’t respect you. Being a good man doesn’t mean being agreeable. It means standing firm, being kind when you choose to be—not when you feel forced to be. And when a woman sees that? That’s when she respects you.