RAVE SOCIAL DISTANCING FESTIVAL: THE CORONA CANTATA

THE CORONA CANTATA: A Radio Play Lyrics by Joan Liman  Music by Leonard Bernstein WOMAN: Corona, the most frightening word I ever heard – Corona, Corona, Corona, Corona… All the frightening sounds of the world in a single word Corona, Corona, Corona, Corona…​ MAN:​ Corona! ​ My favorite beer’s called Corona But suddenly that name Will never mean the same To me. WOMAN: Don’t shake hands Do fist bumps, rub elbows or click heels Cross hands over your heart, but stand six feet apart… or more! ​ MAN:​ No touching No more bear hugs or soulful kissing Use Purell – what the hell? – it’s gone missing! WOMAN: A question – Are there other options? Pray tell me. ​​MAN: Try vodka – Some say make your own using vodka WOMAN: But there’s one caveat That somebody forgot To add— You need to Check labels when making your purchase Too little alcohol And it won’t work at all - Because – ​ MAN: The content Of the booze that is needed in it Must exceed an acceptable limit WOMAN: If I’d known, I would not have raced off to Costco... But I went And bought out the store’s fifty bottles Each only 80 proof A real colossal goof for sure ​ MAN: But guess what? Though cafes and bars are now closed down And I’ve no frigging app to order beer on tap - to go... I feel safe, Hunkered down in my home containment Thanks to vodka and streamed entertainment Corona, I’m done with that beer named Corona! WOMAN: Now I’m a fan of that fabulous brand – named Smirnoff!