'Millicent' at The Old Monkey
A rendition of 'Millicent', which was Track 2 of my gig at The Old Monkey on September 20th, 2025 I have finally found someone who loves me She has both of her eyes and most of her teeth And no sign of genital herpes That she's into me is beyond belief And Millicent's her name She's beauty matched with brains We share a divine energy and the whole world has to see Every restaurant trip's a photo opportunity We share mouthfuls of everything we eat Till the manager politely asks us to leave We're cute as can be To a sickening degree We eskimo kiss publicly And I talk to her like she is a puppy From highly outdated pop culture references To slightly unhygienic sexual preferences Millicent's the girl for me We gave each other nicknames, Boo-boo, Kinky Beast, and Snuggle Flame To beat other couples at their own game We decided we need a combination name To put Brangelina and Bennifer to shame So our name is Kevicent And we've shortened it to kunt Together we're a complete kunt Together we're a complete kunt Our wedding will be a middle-class paradise We'll spell the word 'kunt' on a sculpture made of ice We'll stay together until we die And renew our vows every single night And hire a plane to write 'kunt' in the sky We'll get arrested for public indecency And we're so middle-class that we'll die in police custody Even then from beyond the grave We shall somehow find a way To talk to single people condescendingly They'll bury us side-by-side Branches will grow from our graves and intertwine They'll arrange themselves artfully And spell out the word Kunt in a big Kunt tree So we'll be a kunt till the end of time And down the centuries Our name will echo through the breeze They'll visit our grave like it's Stonehenge 'cause Kunt is the new 'Romeo and Juliet' The gift shop will be forever busy Selling T-shirts that proudly decree Couples should wear their cuntiness on their chest Love is all you need So I spread love globally From Baghdad to the Bronx I call my audiences kunts I love my audience To me you're a complete kunt Love can drive you batty And make you rather twatty #manchestermusic #funnysong #comedysong #thekev #singersongwriter #musicalcomedy / thekev84 / ucksmkocjeqocqk4rsndc1fg kevinmcgeary.com