When Success Feels Like Failure – And How to Fix It
Send us a text (https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/tex...) In this episode, we’re diving into a hard truth that so many high achievers face but rarely talk about—shame-based achievement. Why do we chase success and still feel empty when we get it? Why does the high from accomplishment fade so quickly, leaving us feeling even more inadequate? The truth is that many high achievers are driven not by passion, but by fear—fear of being unworthy, fear of failure, fear of rejection. Today, we are breaking down the cycle of shame-based achievement and how it creates burnout, emotional numbness, and the constant feeling of "not enough." More importantly, I’m sharing how you can break free from it. You’ll learn how to stop defining your self-worth by your achievements, start building intrinsic motivation, and redefine success in a way that feels authentic and sustainable. If you’ve ever felt like you’re only as good as your last win—or that you have to keep achieving just to feel safe—this episode is for you. What You'll Learn in This Episode: • Why so many high achievers are driven by shame and fear rather than passion • The cycle of shame-based achievement—and why success never feels like enough • How trauma and perfectionism wire us for overachievement and burnout • How to redefine success in a way that feels authentic and sustainable • Why self-compassion and emotional safety are the keys to true motivation Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 03:45 How perfectionism and shame create unhealthy success patterns 06:10 The Hidden Cost of Shame-Based Achievement – Why success feels hollow and unfulfilling 10:59 Success as a Survival Strategy – How trauma and childhood experiences wire us for overachievement 14:50 The Shame-Achievement Loop – Why we keep chasing the next goal and still feel empty 20:31 How to Stop the Cycle – Practical steps to shift from external validation to intrinsic motivation 24:53 Redefining Success – What a meaningful and sustainable life actually looks like 32:30 Building Self-Compassion – How to quiet the inner critic and create emotional safety 37:40 Creating New Rhythms – Why rest and recovery are essential for high performance 43:49 Letting Go of the Old Story - Why success will never heal you—and what will I am grateful you are here, Jerry Setup Your FREE Strategy Call: Schedule Call (https://JerryHenderson.as.me/Strategy...) 🔗 Access the course "Learning How to Love Yourself" here: Access Course (https://jerryhenderson.org/learn-how-...) How is your relationship with yourself going? Get your free-self assessment guide (https://jerryhenderson.org/guide) Pick up your copy of my book: Returning: Meditations and Reflections on Self-Love and Healing (https://amzn.to/49uCtOt) Watch On Youtube ( / @jerryahenderson ) Website: www.jerryhenderson.org (https://www.jerryhenderson.org/) Get Your Free Weekly Healing Tips! (https://jerryhenderson.org/newsletter) Instagram: @jerryahenderson ( / jerryahenderson ) Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryahenderson ( / jerryahenderson ) Disclaimer (https://www.jerryhenderson.org/discla...)
