I Lived my Life in Pain and Pretending I Lost My Memory of over 30 years .. Until God stepped In

I lost the Memory of over 30 years of my life due to Pain and Pretending. I had never learned how to process trauma or allowed myself to truly sit down or even take time in my life to deal with each traumatic season or event. This all began due to a childhood incident but since i told myself it did not happen because I repeated the words of my abuser I let it go from my mind never talking about it to anyone and this became my reality and way of handling things all through my life. It led to a Season where I became very depressed and self destructive in so many ways until Abba Yahweh showed up leaving the 99 and coming after this 1 sheep. My entire life I was convinced Abba Yahweh hated me even though I grew up in a church. I had no understanding of who God truly was and why we needed to worship him and what he had truly accomplished. Naturally at 18 I went back into the world. It was in my 40's i truly met the God Who sees and his love is not based on our past present or what we did but is Unconditional and Eternal and it is simply because we are his. It changed my life because i never felt so loved and accepted. My Testimony. If you do not know Yahshua as your Lord and Saviour I would like to introduce you to your Heavenly father Yahweh, his ist begotten son Yahshua Our Lord and Saviour in whom through his selfless act of giving himself as a sacrificial blemish free offering for the entire world and taking on all our sins, inqiuities, transgressions and infirmities upon himself and suffering a brutal death none of us could endure. He tore the veil between the Father and us his children to open the door for us to Enter in before the Father again without shame to get mercy in our times of need and come boldly before his throne of grace whenever we need too for help. His one act of Obedience brought Redemption and Salvation for everyone who would believe in their heart and Receive it by Faith through the Grace and Mercy of the Father gift unto all which is Christ death and Resurrection on the 3rd day by the Father Yahweh and his Righteouss act became the Foundation for each of us to be seen as Righteouss before the Father so the Gift of Salvation is not based on our Righteoussness but strictly on Christ yahshua Righteousness We have been set Free. It Requires your Repentance. I wrote this out because many do not understand what truly his death and Resurrection has done for us all. Romans 10:9-10 states: If thou shall Confess with thy mouth the Master Yahshua and shall believe in thine heart that Yahweh hath raised him from the dead thou shall be saved. For it is with the heart man believeth unto Righteousness and with their mouth confession is made unto Salvation. I Pray you will Consider believeing in your heart and accepting Christ into your heart today and confessing him unto your Salvation. Read isaiah 53. It is finished. If you have Welcome Home and you made the most important decision you could of ever made . Heaven is rejoicing his son/ daughter has returned Home. Shalom and Much love. Please pray and ask God to lead you to where he wants you to grow and Please start reading and studying the Bible for yourself. This will help you grow closer to God and learn to hear his voice for yourself and develop a intimacy with your Heavenly Father who loves you more than you could ever imagine and when you return Home he throws all your sins into the sea of forgetfulneess and you get a fresh start in life.